Another Jaded Woman
by NO CHANCE IN HEAVEN
Summary: Jaded for a rumor, discovering a world that shouldn't exist, and learning truths that should be false. What was her father? Who is her mother? What is she? Read and review, please. Thank you.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a completely fictional story, and is all of my making, but the category is my only choice. I apologize for the confusion that may cause. Thank you for reading, and again this story is of my own making, so please do not steal.**

_**Prologue**_

_**London, England**_

_**March 15, 1963**_

_**That day…Time just seemed to stop. For me, the world just seemed to pause, losing all meaning in everything as I stood there. Standing on the sidewalk, on the somewhat infamous Maiden Lane, watching the unspeakable happen…Watching, but never doing anything about anything going on was just how I was. No one would ever come to understand why I just stood there, but I couldn't do anything. Nothing. I could only stand there and watch. Watch the woman, my mother, be killed, and not at all realize what I'd just had a part in. What had I just done to her? A plausible question, one it took me many years to answer, but much longer to understand how.**_

_**Just a normal day, mother and I were on our way to the grocery store to buy a few things, like every week, but that had been different. I'd previously been engaged to a man, typical really, and he'd broken it off with me that previous Monday over a silly rumor. The rumor stated that I'd been going around with other men and sleep with them, before our wedding night. I mean, who really believes in silly rumors spread by old hags who have nothing better to do than to ruin young peoples' lives? Regardless, I couldn't believe he could do such a thing to me, but I let it drop, as only a proper girl can do. Mother had always taught me to keep my petty problems to myself, which I always did. Tuesday came around, which is our tea day, and all I really wanted to do was stay at home, to do nothing for a change. It would have to be either storming horridly or someone had to have died, both reasonable reasons to all the ladies of the group for tea to be cancelled. So, I thought it over, which would be better to the girls, and which would be more likely to happen. Both would be grand, but I could hardly hope for a horrid thunderstorm and a murder all in one day. Sorry to say, no, that isn't the event that coming Friday, but it was a very strange day for me and the girls of the tea group.**_

_**As I readied myself for tea that day, I daydreamed that it would story a horrid storm that would cause our street's bus to crash, killing all the passengers. It was a horrid though for me to think, but it was what fit my need for tea to be cancelled. Finally ready in my tea time best, I just with glee, once I'd entered the main hall, and watched the horrid storm outside continue to roar. Joyously, I skipped back up to my room, after mother announced to me that tea was cancelled, and I proceeded to go back to practicing my piano music wringing, a hobby I picked up from my ex-fiancé, who is a professional pianist for public locations and inns all over the world.**_

"**Janine Elizabeth?! Have you finished your chores? What are you doing up in that God forsaken room in the middle of the day? You should be down here doing your chores and being alive, not moping in your room all day!" **_**I heard my mother, Abigail Dwellers, yell up from the staircase, as she always seems to be doing. Often she's angry with me over things she doesn't seem to understand about me, but at times it feels as if there is more to it than that. I've never asked, and I don't plan to question her, not when I know the punishment for questioning her. **_

"**Yes, mother! I'll be right down," **_**I called back to my mother in the most polite way I could, but that was all she needed. Hearing her resounding footsteps into the kitchen let me know she had something to talk to me about and that she wouldn't wait patiently for long. Practically running down the stairs, I breathed slowly to calm my breathing as I slowed to a walk at the hallway to the kitchen. Entering, ignoring my mother as she looked up at me, and just took my not offered seat across from her. Without looking at her, as I shouldn't do, I poured myself some tea, and I waited calmly to hear what she wanted to tell me about. **_

"**As you were locked up in your room, doing God knows what, I'm sure you didn't hear of the tragedy that has befallen our peaceful street, have you?" **_**she questioned in her angry all knowing manner that she always seemed to use when she was upset with my manners, but game me no time to respond before she went on. **_**"No, I'm sure you haven't heard any news since I told you of tea's cancellation. Well, Janine, thanks to this God forsaken storm, a bus full of people crashed into the side of the old abandoned church, just outside of town, killing them all. Such a sad, sad tragedy indeed," **_**she spoke in such a sickeningly sweet, sad manner, so fake that it was hard to think of it as anything else, and my only response for the moment was to nod respectively. I was not one to disobey the rules that my mother so strictly sets for me, but I'm also one to have very disrespectful thoughts because I'm just so internal.**_

"**Yes, Mother, it is very sad. Please, excuse me, I'd like to go play a hymn from the bible in their memory," **_**I lied, as I do at time, and with her nod of approval, I walked confusedly up the stairs to my room. There was no reasonable reason for me to think that this event had anything do with what I'd daydreamed up this morning, but it was really very scary how perfectly the same the two were. **_**"How could I daydream of something was going to happen so perfectly. It is surely a coincidence," **_**I mumbled to myself in slight shock of where this could all be taken if anyone else knew what exactly had happened that day, but I shook it off, shoved it to the back of my mind, and went back to my joyful music making. I didn't see a point at the time to trying to figure it all out, and I just wanted to be happy again.**_

_**Wednesday and Thursday were a blur of sad times, but that was merely because mother thought it only right that we both go to every funeral, every single one. Two days of nonstop black dresses, crying, tissues, and death, all to the point that I started to wonder what would happen if I daydreamed something else happening. Thursday, through all the funerals of people I knew nothing about, I thought about the possibility of my daydreaming being something more. Thought so much that I came to the point that I wondered if I could make things happen, but I thought better than to hope for something so great. Not from me, that was a dream for a silly little girl, not a woman who had to make a future for herself. Never again would I be the silly little dreamer who believed, whole heartedly, that daddy would make her dreams come true.**_

_**During the last funeral Thursday, late that night, I daydreamed about how my mother would react if the table, with all the guests' best food suddenly just fell in one itself, destroying all the food. I pictured it, much like I had that morning, but this time I felt the underlying fear of it really happening. I worried that someone would point the finger at me, and I was frightened of being considered a freak. So, by the time we went home, I'd assured myself that it was impossible that I could do something like I'd thought, and I'd made myself it was all just a crazy coincidence. Not only had I made myself that it was impossible for anyone to do something like I'd thought I had, I made my mind revert to my normal, everyday thoughts; what to war, hot to please mother, and stuff like that. Mother thought nothing of my sad mood, because of all the death around, and I thought nothing of how I couldn't brighten my own mood. It was just something I thought nothing of, but most things have a reason for happening, like this. My problem was that I refused to believe it, and I pretended everything was the same.**_

_**Friday, as I said, was a normal day for mother and me, and we just went to the small market place for our groceries. Nothing out of the ordinary, but we were never like in those little fantasy books, just a normal little family of a mother and daughter. That day, was strange, I was still depressed about all the funerals, and mother was trying to brighten my mood by buying me all my favorite foods. Not that I hated her for trying to help me, I just hate how she tries to help, and I hate how she is so pushy with her helpfulness.**_

"**I bet you'd love some of those little chocolates, though they are horrid for you and you've eaten plenty, haven't you? Do you really need more?" **_**she's asked in that annoying tone that said she would give me what I wanted, but only if I wanted her to gripe at me for eating them, getting fatter. I would shake my head no as usual, and her words would make me angrier as she poked fun at my eating habits. Her words only enraged me further; it only took me a few moments of her repeated offering, taunting, and comforting to make me think of ways to do away with her. I was very angry, that much was obvious by my cold demeanor, and she only seemed to get worse. My main daydream this time, the most painful, was for her to get attacked by a dog, but I don't know how or why a dog would attack my mother. She doesn't smell or look like anything they'd want to eat, and I didn't give this idea too many details, just that it would attack and kill her, painfully.**_

_**Walking out of the story, daintily walking, towards our car, with the man pushing out our things in a cart, to put it all away and leave. That's when it happened. Standing by the man, as he pushed the cart, I stopped by the sidewalk, Maiden Lane, and I watched mother walk. She walked to almost half way to the car, but that's as far as she got. Standing there, I watched it happen, but all I could feel was cold shock. The dog was attacking her, she was screaming, and I could do nothing more than watch it happen. It was mind blowing, really, how I could just stand by and do nothing, as a rabid looking animal attacked my mother. My mind was an utter mess of thoughts, broken reasons, and just random images of things I didn't recognize. People speak of a time when all they know is broken, everything that just is, no longer makes sense or seems right, and they just feel their lives caving in around them. My moment of crushing knowledge was then, as I watched her being ripped apart, piece by piece, but I couldn't think of that the time. Things didn't suddenly fall into place as books lead people to believe, and I didn't get a little light bulb above my head going on, as I said "Ah! Now I know the truth!" that didn't happen. No, there was a few hours, the time it took someone to get the cops to finally come and stop the dog, that I just stood there, and I tried to make sense of my jumbled world.**_

"**Excuse me, miss? Did you know that woman? It was just horrid what happened, but dogs will be dogs. Bet nobody was feeding the poor mongrel," **_**the man, I didn't recognize, explained and rested his hands upon my shoulders. Shaking my head, I took a step back, knocking his hands away, but just kept my eyes on what was left of my mother. Slowly shaking my head no I just kept taking steps back, and I couldn't understand what was going through my own mind. **_**How could I let her die? Why did it happen like this? How did I do it? What do I do now? **_I thought thoughts such as that rapidly, but I came to a few conclusions rather quickly. Though facts didn't seem the word at the time, it seemed almost like they just were, and the thoughts as follows:_

1. I'd just killed my mother somehow

2. There was a power within me

3. I had no control over that amazingly/terrifying power

4. No one could know about it

5. I could trust no one anymore

6. Nothing I've ever been told could be true

7. Was my father dead or not?

8. Was Abigail my mother?

9. Were there others like me?

10. And I had to get away from the mess I'd created

_Still shaking my head, I finally noted the fact that tears were trailing rapidly down my cheeks, and I just looked up at the man who'd previously spoken. The man was Royce, the butcher, and he was one of the few people in town who actually thought me to be more than a little girl who could do nothing. Not surprisingly enough, he didn't know Abigail, my mother._

"No, I was just on my way out of town, but I wanted to stop to make sure someone took care of this. I-I've got to go now. Such a horrid thing that happened here, just horrid," _I spoke rapidly, not quite understanding what I was saying myself, but I just turned on my heels, readily to walk right out of town. I was going to stop at my house to pack essentials, and that's when I saw the hooded figure across the road. Sure, people in London, England, don't all dress like proper nobles all the time, but robed figures just kind of sent most people away in fright. This person didn't seem like something I should fear, almost like he would help, like I should trust him, and I just started walking towards him. Strange really, I just walked through the place the dog had attacked my mother like one would a park. Then, standing in front of him, I tried to see his face in an almost childlike wonder, but could see nothing more than the shadow of what I assumed was his face. He seemed almost to attract me to him, like a magnet to metal, and he seemed to know this. I just couldn't mistrust him. He just seemed so good, and I it was like I just knew he would help me. _

"Cartwright, follow," _he commanded simply, as though speaking to his child, but this only made me want to follow him. Watching without blinking, I watched him turn, which caused his cloak to flare out around him, and I just stood there gawking for a moment. It was amazing, simply so, that such a simple man could create such an allure. I didn't wait too long before, practically, running to catch up. Whatever was going to happen I just knew that this guy would help me, and I would probably follow him anywhere at least for that moment. He was the only thing I felt I could trust, the only thing in my world that didn't hurt me to think about, and I wanted to know, to believe, he would help me. The future was later on, but with him, the present seemed almost livable._

"I'm coming!"_I said to him from right behind, but within second I was walking easily beside him. Walking beside him, that was the last thing I saw before everything went black, and we went somewhere, somehow. Darkness surrounded me, and the future no longer looked so bright. Had I just made a huge mistake or was this whole throwing the little girl into darkness, her greatest fear, a test?_

_Thank you for reading, please review or just continue on to the next chapter and review later._


	2. Chapter 2

The next installment, this is the continuing of the story, and again is of my own making. Ignore the category, again, and I apologize for any confusion.

Chapter one

Time

_Darkness, it was all I knew. For such a long time, it seemed, after the hooded figure appeared to me, I was thrown and stuck within the darkness. Nothing, there was nothing in the sheer darkness. Only air and I were in the darkness, and the only thing that told me there was air was because I was still alive. I knew I needed air to breath, so there was air in this pure darkness. Just floating, it seems as I couldn't see the ground or ceiling, through the darkness, I let my mind wander for a time. So many things had gone out of my line in my life from how I'd planned, but nothing is supposed to go as planned. My father, Jonathon Cartwright, often told me that when I was little, and he wrote often in the book he left to me. Such a long time ago, fifteen years ago was when I was just three years old, and the events that took my father from…happened that day._

_It was like the darkness would bend to my will, and whatever memory I wished to see, unconsciously or not, would be shown in the darkness like a home movie. The home movie would begin with blurs of images, as uncertain as any humans' thoughts, and slowly gain purpose, showing what I desired to see. That's how I saw that memory, that horridly, awful memory. Father and I were playing chess in his study, or rather father was watching me play with the pieces and beating me horridly at chess. Either way, we were having a blast, but as always mother was watching us in a very not so nice manner. I noticed then that mother didn't just look annoyed by our constant play or even jealous of my father's affections towards me. No, mother appeared angry, enraged just looking at both of us being affectionate towards one another. I didn't understand as I watched it, and I still didn't understand why father felt the need to answer the door, when the doorbell rang. Sitting in my chair, gnawing on the wooden chess piece for the knight, I was almost positive that I was trying to eat. That's when I heard it. Mother and I both jumped at the sound of the gun shot and at father's ear splitting scream of agony. Doing no more than whimpering, I watched mother, as a three year old, run out of the room to check on father. That's the most important thing that I remember, there's been a possible murderer in the house, and my mother left me alone in father's study! At the thought of being, I began screaming bloody murder, but she didn't come up or even let me know she was okay. As I watched, I easily noticed that I'd obviously really wanted someone to come hold me, and I was really mad that mother wouldn't comfort me or even notice me. Blinking in surprise, I didn't remember the part that came next in the memory, but I liked it. An unknown woman walked into the study, almost out of no where, and she cam over, homing me close to herself, singing to me._

"Sweet little child,

Please,

Don't you cry

Lovely child,

Dry those tears,

For me

Don't let me see,

You frown,

My little child

I know it's hard,

Little one,

But try to shine

Sweet little child,

Drying those tears,

Please,

For me,"

_Blinking, the memory vanished before my eyes, and I couldn't focus on much more than the fact that I'd forgotten. I couldn't believe that I'd forgotten creating such a woman, but worst of all I'd forgotten what had happened to him. It was both amazing and awful how I could've forgotten him so easily, just because mother told me he'd left of his own free will. I still don't know how I could've done something so simple minded, but that's probably how children work; believe whatever their mother tells them. Time seemed to slow after that, as slowly my tears slowed to nothing, and I began to wonder, slowly, more complicated ideas. _**Why am I here? What purpose did he have for putting me here? Who was that man? Why did he put me in such a forsaken place? **_I wondered listlessly, but I could come to no real, plausible answers. Nothing really, besides the just-were facts of before, and I couldn't think of much else that made any sense to me. One question stood out to me, but I wasn't quite sure enough to really trust it. I could hardly trust myself to ruin the peaceful place, and I wasn't sure if I could do it._

"Can I really…?" _I spoke slowly, feeling the words, and I cut myself off as the echoed around me. Not that it was loud before, but when I began to speak it was like the darkness had become deadly silent. Like a graveyard almost, just pure silence. Looking around to be sure that no one was there, that was when I noticed some sort of shape in the distance. Not thinking about the fact that I'd not seen that before or why it could be there, I forced my body towards it. I didn't think about how I was floating or how I was making myself more, and I just focused fully on getting there. My sole goal was to get out and be free of that eternal darkness. Quickly, I began to gain speed, unnoticed by me, as my desire to be free of that place grew stronger. Without stopping, I flew straight into what could only be a door, but without a handle or any way of opening it. Slamming into it hadn't been the best plan of action, and I paid for that with a large lump on my forehead for my silly, unthinking mistake. Rubbing my head, I examined my only escape root. Not only was there no door knob or any visible way to open it, but the door appeared to be sealed shut by some sort of stuff. At the time, I'd thought stuff because I couldn't think of any other way to describe it. It'd never seen that sort of purple, slightly glowing substance on a door, holding it closed, before. Unconsciously, I sat myself before the door in midair, and I continued to study the door, trying to understand how it to work it. I wanted out, but there was no visible way for me to get through this blocked door. _"What's a girl to do? Hmm," _I thought out loud as I continued to stare at the door, in a sort of trance, and I tried to figure it out by force. Waiting just seemed to be out of the question at the time, but there didn't seem to be any obvious way for me to get around opening the door._

"Think, Cartwright. What can you do that you did before? Why did we bring you here?" _the voice of the robed figure snapped through the room, causing me to jump, and I looked around for him. Not that I knew for sure the figure was a man or woman, but he/she sounded like a man to me. His words made little sense to me at first, and I continued looking as I tried to understand what he could possibly mean._

"What do you mean? What can I do? How do I get out?!" _I called out, still looking around wildly, and I didn't like that he hadn't helped me as much as he could've. _"Thank you ever so much for you help, oh robed figure,"_ I said with an angry, sarcastic bow, but I'd been alone for so long that I saw no point in keep my painfully polite façade up. When there was no one around to scold me I didn't see the point. _"How am I to get out of this hell hold when the door is blocked off?!" _waving my arms around, I questioned the robed figure in rage, and I still received no response. Sitting back down with a sigh, I tried to calm down, and tried to think of something that would get me out of here. Weeks had already passed, I knew that many weeks had passed by so far, and I still could think of nothing that made sense. I didn't understand what the robed figure wanted me to do. Flopping backwards, still floating, I sighed in pure annoyance and gave up, again. I'd been trying to figure the same problem out, off and on, for days, but nothing I could do seemed to fit into making it so that I could open the door. _

"Oh, you are going to so open this blocked off door by playing a nonexistent piano! Great idea, Janine!?" _I though in a sarcastically, sad manner and just laid back comfortably in midair. Obviously, I was being sarcastic, and my natural skills weren't what the figure had been asking for. Restarting, I thought of something I may be able to do that no one else I knew could, but only one thing sounded possibly plausible to what he'd asked of me. _

"You want me to daydream my way out? Like with what I did with the dog?" _I yelled to him, not expecting an answer, and I sat up, trying to calm my excited mind. It didn't really seem real to me that it was possibly that that was why he'd brought me there. The figure wanted me to figure out how to use that power, but brought me there so that I couldn't hurt anyone. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the door opening, and I tried my best to keep all other things from my mind, I tried, but other things kept coming into my mind. I couldn't focus on the task at hand, and no matter how hard I tried, the task wasn't even the only thing on my mind. No, it didn't work. After a few seconds of concentrating and daydreaming, I opened my eyes to see the door still firmly shut. Disappointment doesn't begin to describe what I'd been feeling, but I didn't give up just yet. The robed figure couldn't have been wrong about me, and I wasn't about to let him down after so many weeks of leaving me in there. I knew he must've been tried of waiting for me to figure it all out, and he must've really wanted to give up one me. After seeing me fail so ultimately, and after waiting for so long, he must've really wanted to just give up on me. No way was I going to give him anymore reason not to trust in me. I kept right on trying, but it quickly became obvious that I wasn't doing something quite right. _

_Stopping, I thought about what I'd done the first time, and, maybe, what I wasn't doing that time. The first time I'd daydreamed the accident vividly, which I wasn't doing then, and I'd held both a great want for the outcome and no fear of it, the latter I wasn't doing either. Sure, I'd daydreamed the process that I wanted most, I had the great want to get the process done, but I didn't have the imagination or fearless set of mind to do what I needed to do. That was the problem. I understood the problem, then, but I had no idea how to go about fixing it, no real plan. I had nothing. Looking around, at that moment, I'd assumed that the figure would scold me for not thinking, but he didn't. The figure didn't utter a word of either encouragement or scolding; he let me be to deal with my own problems. Smiling, I gave a slight nod of thanks to him for being understanding and I went to work on a plan. I knew then that he'd leave me to figure this all out on my own. I liked and trusted him more for that fact, unconsciously. My plan was slowly made, and it had quite a few kinks. That was only natural. It would have to happen over time, but I was willing to work on it. The plan wasn't very thorough and trial and error were the only way. The plan was as follows: _

1. Work on making the dreams more vivid by possibly daydreaming up some smaller tasks; food, a piano, paper, pencils, etc

2. Stop myself from being afraid of my own powers, it was only natural to fear what I didn't understand, but I had to learn to under it, fast

3. Work on focusing and doing the daydreaming power at will, not only when I was afraid or really upset (Angry)

4. Practice opening door with my powers, making door with my powers and then forcing them open with my powers as well

5. Get the door open and thank the figure (Obviously)

_Step one of the plan was probably easier said/thought than actually done, but I really wanted to be able to do simple things. The figure probably didn't really want me to come out still afraid of myself, and I had to also make myself believe that I could really do that, without a doubt. _

"I can do this, I can," _I told myself, which quickly became a sort of chant for me over the years, as I sighed and got into a cross-legged position. Unconsciously, I'd imagined myself in work-out pants, which I didn't notice for a while, but I'd been busy. With my eyes closed, I tried to focus on my old piano, the one my ex-fiancé taught me on, and to bring it there. I not only imagined, vividly, what it looked like, but saw myself sitting on its bench, playing it. Seeing the image over and over, I focused on it fully, and I saw the image as a reality. It just had to happen in mind. Nothing could stop this image from happening, nothing. _

_Opening my eyes to, frightfully, see if I'd done it, and I almost cried at the sight of the piano, just as I'd imagined it. Running my fingers slowly over the keys, but not seeing much more than the fact I'd done it, for the moment. Without further thought, I began to play it, almost in a trance, and I played the some that I'd imagined, exactly as I'd imagined it. Once finished, I recalled that I'd just done exactly as I'd envisioned myself doing, and I'd done it without thought of my own actions. It became obvious that my powers could not only make my thoughts a reality, but when I wanted an image or scene to be done, it would be. No matter the process needed or actions the person could or would do for it to happen. Looking down at where my hands were, laying on my lap, I finally noted my change in clothing, because of the feel of the cloth. I blinked in pure amazement. Turning on the bench,, I looked around myself, and I found that the world of darkness now had a slightly lighter, gray, floor as far as the eye could see. Blinking in slight shock, I looked down at my hands, trying to see the power within me. It made little sense that such a power could or should reside within me, such a small, uncertain girl._

_The power wasn't just amazing to me, but it was also quite frightening. Just for me to think of all that I could do to someone, and how easily I could get away with it. It just frightened me. Standing, I closed the top to the piano and sat atop it, just to give myself something higher to seat myself upon. I figured, still slightly in shock, that it was time to try a little trick and bring something else to me or make something else happen around me. Slowly, I guessed it was about time I ate, which was strange that I hadn't gotten hungry since before I came to that world. Though I wasn't overweight or fat, I usually got hungry eventually, but I also guessed it may be part of the little world I was in. I just figured I would have to ask the figure when I got out of that place. He would know._

_Closing my eyes, once again, I concentrated and envisioned what I wanted, my favorite little chocolates. I could see them clearly, just sitting innocently on the piano top, and I could wait to eat them. Repeating my earlier actions, thoughts, and desires, I sighed once I did all I could. It was such a strange feeling, when I focused on feeling what it was like, and I felt the small shiver of something within me. Such a strange little shiver of almost power and I actually loved the feelings, which made it better. Shaking my head, forgetting my thoughts, I looked down, squealed slightly, and picked up the loved, little box of chocolates. Oh, how I loved those little chocolates, and it was frightening how I hadn't noticed how hungry I really was until I had food before me! That would make yet another question I had to ask the figure. Such a strange place it was. It made me forget food, water, and everything else I needed to live. Very strange, indeed. Laid back, I tried to think of the reason for why I may have received that power, but I couldn't see how it could've been inherited._

"There is no way that father had such a power, and if he had, which he did not, he would have found a way to teach me. It is not possible that he would leave me so utterly defenseless," _I explained to anyone who may be listening to me, but, in reality, that was all for myself. I wanted to believe that it was impossible, the scenario that I was thinking of. In my mind, there was no way that my father, the one I'd always held higher in affections than anyone, could do me wrong like that, but then I knew it wouldn't be his fault. Even if the thought was true, which it wasn't, I knew that the scenario made no sense with the reality of my life. If the scenario was true then I would've been long dead, and I hated the idea that he was dead. Jonathon Cartwright had to be alive. My father just had to be alive, that was all there was to it._

_Turning to my right, in an open space was a small picture blurring into something that I couldn't see, much like before. Like a window being cleaned of grime, the picture slowly cleared, and I saw something I'd never seen before. I saw the downstairs, heard myself screaming upstairs, and there stood my mother at the foot of the stairs. Shock was all I could feel as I watched the scene of whatever had happened, but what surprised me more was that mother didn't seem sad, she just seemed content. It was like whatever had happened had made her feel whole, like her world was all better. My mind couldn't wrap around this fact, but I continued watching the scene. That was when I saw it. Looking away from mother's serene expression, I saw the large puddle of blood on the stone floor. There in the middle of the main room floor was a huge puddle of fresh, red blood. In horror, my mind seemed to analyze it, and I could see that the blood wasn't splattered, this more than likely wasn't from a gun. Not that I knew much about guns, but from the few murder scenes I'd seen, blood was always splattered in a shooting. Memory vanishing, I just flopped backwards, nibbling on a piece of my chocolates, and I tried not to think about any of it._

"Just don't think, Janine. Just focus on what must be done and worry about your uncertain past once you've left this retched place of darkness," _I mumbled to myself, but my mind continued to process the information I'd just learned. _**If my power was inherited from my father, then maybe he ran to keep me safe. Though, if that were so, wouldn't he come back to help me? Or would he remain away to keep me safe from whatever was after him?**_ My mind whirled with unanswerable questions, and all I could do was lay there, nibbling on my chocolates. Only so much could I take before I'd cry again, but a moment later I'd pushed all thoughts aside. Doing just as I'd told myself to do, not five minutes beforehand, and I sat up putting away my little pouch of chocolates, crossing my legs._

"Practice until perfection is met, not a notch below," _I whispered to myself, reiterating the same statement mother had told me many a times as I'd grown up. It was a saying that she'd used on me to make me work hard or face the punishments. Shaking my head, I focused on the task of bringing yet another object to myself. This time the process was to be done so that I could make myself understand that my power was not something that I should fear. As long as I kept control then nothing bad would happen, which is what I thought over and over as I tried to think of something to imagine into the weird darkness realm. Then it hit me, maybe it would best to recreate the woman from the first memory and talk to her. She would know me best, I hoped. I made her appear with my power, so I hoped that she would understand them better than I seemed to be able to. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the feeling of wanting her to comfort me, needing her to, and I daydreamed her holding me close. Mostly, I imagined how comforted I would be to know that she was with me. That she would understand, know, and care for me, even with all that she knew about me. I didn't want to know if I failed, so I didn't open my eyes this time. No, I held them closed even tighter, but more so because I didn't want to see my own failure. Not this time. This woman was very important to me, even if I'd forgotten her, and I wanted her to be there with me. Eyes snapping open, I looked up, to the woman who was no holding me, and I smiled, tears filling my eyes. She was there, she was holding me, and she was just as lovely as she'd been in the vision of the past!_

"Now, now, my girl. No tears. Not for me. This was to be a happy meeting, was it not?" _she asked in a beautiful, affectionate voice, and she petted my hair back. Blinking back my tears of joy, I smiled sheepishly for crying, and I hugged her in return. Not once did I question how I'd ended up standing, but that was how I'd imagined the scent to be. We were standing, hugging, and a lot of acceptance from both of us._

"Yes, it is! I've not seen you in an ever so long time! How are you?" _I asked in pure joy and pulled back to see her expression, which looked very proud. This was the woman that had been the mother I'd never had, but only seen once in my entire childhood. That awful day, I wanted to know everything about her, but most of all I wanted to know what her real life was like. Her family, friends, love, and just everything about the life she left, twice then, to come see me._

"Oh, my dear, you still know so very little about the power within you. So very much I have to teach you. Good thing we have such time to learn it all, is it not?" _she questioned once more, but I could only frown at her words. Pulling her to the piano bench, I sat us down, and I looked at her in pure confusion. What she was saying made no sense to me. I didn't understand what she was speaking of, but I was patient in my learning. She obviously knew what was best for me._

"It is wonderful that we have the time to talk about all that you wish to teach me, but I don't understand…Do you not have a home to return to? Sorry if I've offended, though I don't know anything about you…Such as your name?" _I questioned in as polite a manner as I could, but that was only because mother's edict lessons were pushing their way to the surface of my mind. When she shook her head, I blushed in embarrassment for being so polite, and she merely smiled at me in an understand manner._

"Do not worry for being to myself, I understand. You much understand something before I begin teaching you anything, Janine. I was not born to the world, thanks to your powers, I was created. Your subconscious made me that day; therefore I have no name, home, or family. Besides you, of course," _the woman explained nodding to me between her statements, but all I could do was stare at her in pure shock. Going blank in thought, I tried to understand how what she was saying was even possible. In my mind there was no way that such a thing could be done, not by me. Not as a three year old baby!? How could anything like that be done?! _"You are surprised? Janine, you have always had the power to make anything you wished a reality, even making people. This should really come as no surprise. Your power is quite amazing," _she complimented me with a knowing smile, and I couldn't help smiling back to her. She did know me better than I obviously knew myself, but did that mean that she knew everything about my powers, too? One thing that I did know then was that our lessons would take some time, and she would have a lot of explaining to do with me._

"I trust you, if you say it is so, then it must be just so. I just do not know how to believe such a truth," _I said without more thought to it than to let her know, and all she did was smile at me. She would help me, that I knew, and I would learn to control my powers. In time this would all work out. Having her there made me believe that. Like people sometimes just know, I just she was to be trusted, like with the robed figure, and I wanted her to always be with me. This woman was like a second mother to me. Her words meant that I was not only the reason for her being, but it also meant that in a way she my child, as in to say that I had made her. I was to name her, and she was to be a part of my family, however small it was now._

"If you would not like to name me, it is quite all right not to give me a name or I could name myself, if that would be better," _she offered, looking at my expression in worry, and I grew curious if my expression had been upset or uncertain for a moment before. Looking up at her, her expression became uncertain as I smiled at her, but I took no insult by it. She was only asking a simple question that she was confused about._

"I would adore your name either way, but if you would like me to…I would name you. Would you like that?" _I asked looking from her as I spoke, uncertain of how she would react to my words. Once done speaking, I asked my question, and I looked up towards her face to see her expression. Not only was she not upset, she appeared overjoyed by the idea that I wanted to name her, which, to me, seemed quite strange and adorable. Nodding rapidly, much like a child, she pulled me to her, and she hugged me close, softly squeezing me. It was as if I were her personal teddy bear._

"I would adore that so much, Janine! I've lived these long years without a name in your consciousness! Such a nameless life it has been!" _she exclaimed in pure excitement, which I adored in her, and she reminded me much of a child. Though as soon as I thought that, she seemed to realize what she was doing, and she pulled back with a sheepish look._

"Oh! Don't feel bad for that! That was ever so adorable! It's nice to know that I'm not the only one to get excited easily," _I spoke more in thought than to her, and she seemed all too interested in what I was saying. It was rather nice to have someone so ready to hear what I had to say, but at the very same time a bit strange. Not once as a child growing up did anyone take the time to hear me, which probably didn't help in making me very out spoken. Something my mother probably aimed for when raising me. _"Though, I probably unconsciously made you that way, right?" _I asked in a rhetorical manner, smiling happily at her, but all she did was smile in return. Her smile was almost an automatic response to just looking at me, which I'm happy, it's almost like she has to be happy. Nodding, she seemed to be happy to answer me, no matter what the question was, and I just laughed slightly at how cute she was._ "I think…I have the perfect name for you! This name is a name I've heard a few times, and it is the name of the angel of guidance, Sariel…What do you think of Sariel?" _I asked in pure curiosity, but I was afraid she wouldn't like it. Though, it was obvious by the way she grinned so childishly that she completely loved the idea._

"MY NAME IS SARIEL!" _she said loudly, and all I could do was laugh at her. So childish was she that she stood, and she began dancing all about... Yes, this woman would help me learn my way in this new world of unreality._

_Review or just continue reading. Thank you for reading._


	3. Chapter 3

**This yet another installment of Janine's story, and again the category should be ignored. I apologize for the confusion it may or may not cause. This is my story, please do not steal. Thank you. **

**Chapter two**

**Family for sure**

_**Training. It hadn't been something I could picture Sariel, the woman made from my mind, doing, but that was because she acted much like a childish mother-figure. Not too serious, and she seemed much too soft to really be harsh in my training. I was wrong there. Sariel could easily go from the fun loving woman, like when I gave her, her name, to her strict training way. It was rather hard to believe that she could be that way.**_

"**Come, now, Janine, you can do this! I want you to envision a creature, any creature really, from your imagination! Make it real," **_**she encouraged for the umpteenth time, smiling perkily, from her seated position on the piano bench, but from my place, seated cross legged on the ground, I was annoyed. I'd been trying for hours to do as she wanted, and she just kept right on encouraging me. To her, it must've seemed like we'd just started, but to me it had felt as if we'd been going at it for hours. I was too afraid of what the outcome would be, uncertain if what she was asking for was something I could handle, and I just plain didn't want to make a creature from my mind. Slowly, thought, I'd became angry by how she was constantly saying how I could do it and making it sound so easy to do! Finally, I just snapped my mind into focus, and I closed my eyes in silent, angry, concentration of a demonic creature in my mind.**_

_**The creature had been made long ago, when I was a small child, and it was a figment I'd thought of when I would get punished for bad manners. Demonic or not, the creature was supposed to be my friend, protect me because it wished, and be the best friend I never really had. It would be large, the size of a large elephant, like a black dog, two long horns sprouting from its crown, snake tongued tail and tongue, spiked collar, and blood red eyes would be what my creature basically looked like. From what I remembered about the creature, it would be quite lovable to me, but to everyone else that were not either from me or close friends with me, it would hate. I had no idea what he would be like towards anyone besides me, at the time, but I wanted him to be real, to help me get through that training session. I hated how hard this was becoming for me, and I also knew that Sariel probably had every right to push me. She did know best!**_

"**Juh-Janine?! Wha-What is that?!" **_**Sariel yelled in a high pitched, fearful tone, which cut me off in mid-thought. My head jerked up to see what Sariel was so afraid of, and there was the creature I'd imagined. I stood there in shock for a bit, but the giant dog just took one look at my expression of shock before laying down softly in front of me. I didn't move. I just stared in both horror and wonder at the creature I'd just made from absolutely nothing. It seemed so worried about me, as it lay there, and I was preoccupied by my own thoughts that I didn't even hear, feel, or see Sariel run over to me. She latched onto me like a frightened child, and she stared in horrific wonder at the creature I'd just created on her command.**_

"**Did you-did you really just…make that?" **_**Sariel asked in a sort of shocked wonder, but all I could do was nod dumbly. I could only see the fact I'd just made, with my mind, a giant dog that looked like it came from hell and that it was scaring me half to death. Just looking at it was frightening! The dog seemed to be able to hear my thoughts, the more frightened I became by his appearance the sadder and more upset he became. I couldn't help feeling fearful of such a large animal, but that's all I could see him as. Thought it was a long shot, even I'd known about, I wanted to know if he could understand, and I wanted to understand him as an individual. Not just an animal or huge monster.**_

"**Can you understand me? Feel what I'm feeling? Hear…my thoughts?" **_**I questioned him, and I held Sariel closer to myself, trying to comfort her from her obvious fear. Looking into his eyes, it became obvious to me that he could quite literally understand everything I'd asked about, but I knew this only because of the, almost, understanding I saw in his eyes. So strange. I could almost feel the sadness and understanding that I could somehow see in his eyes. The emotions I caused in him were so upsetting, so mean, and I just felt so bad for being that way to someone who I'd made to be my best friend. Pulling away from Sariel, slowly to let her know it was okay, I walked towards him slowly, and I softly stroked his nose once I could reach it.**_

"**I'm sorry for becoming frightened by your appearance, but I've only recently accepted my powers, even slightly, and it's still so very much to take in. I do not know how to understand myself or this huge power or the fact that I can now make any fiction a reality. It's just too much. Do you understand my confusion?" **_**explaining, I stroked his nose slowly, and I watched his eyes to make sure that I was making the situation better. Not worse. He seemed to understand where I was coming from with all my fear, confusion, and uncertainty of the world around me, but he didn't seem to completely understand the world around him either.**_

"**You should make it so that he can talk with you, Janine. It would make things run smoother," **_**Sariel spoke for the first time in a while, and I at first turned sharply towards her in surprise. She'd not spoken since I'd done as she'd asked me to, but I had to give her credit for calming down quickly enough. The dog was big, larger than large, and she seemed to be deathly afraid of him at first. Good job on her part, actually.**_

"**Yeah, it would help, but I'm not sure…well, maybe I can, but…" **_**I tried to speak and think at once, which didn't sound quite as intelligent as I'd hoped. Looking back towards Sariel, fully in the face, I just looked at her for a moment and tried to see if she really believed I could or should do that. It sounded logical, really it did, but was it fair or ethical for me to change how someone was made for my own gain. How could that be right for me to do something like that? What would stop me from doing that sort of thing on other people if forced to?**_

"**Don't think about it, Janine, this isn't for your own gain alone. It will be of future help to us to be able to understand him. It would also be nice to have a name for him instead of constantly referring to him as him," **_**she explained in the school teacher kind of way that said she knew what she was talking about. I could only smile a slightly in a sheepish way and nod to what she was saying. Turning back to the dog, I looked at him for a moment, smiling to him, and I closed my eyes to concentrate. As usual, I repeated the actions of creating my thoughts into reality, and repeated the action a few times to be sure it would work. There was no way that I wanted anyone else to be able to hear my thoughts, hear him speaking, or steal the friendship we had. That was ours alone, no one else's.**_

"**Hello, Janine. I understand your fear from my appearance, and I will try not to appear so threatening towards you in the future. Try not to become so emotional, I may understand, but it does hurt to know that I frighten you so," **_**came a male voice in my head softly, explaining himself to me, and my eyes just popped open in delightful surprise. I smiled happily at the dog, still laying before me, and I stroked his nose once more. The action seemed to calm him much more than my words, he seemed to gain joy from being stroked by me against his will. It was cute how he seemed to enjoy the attention I was giving him, but it worried me that he didn't seem to like the fact that he was enjoying it against his will. I stopped after a moment of listening to him pant in enjoyment, and I smiled sheepishly towards him. **_

"**I'm sorry, but now that I've gotten passed my shock at your size, you seem rather cute to me. It's hard not to want to stroke you, and I do apologize for my earlier fears. I will try not to stroke you often also; I don't wish to become an annoyance," **_**I explained rapidly in my thoughts, but by his nod, which was a slow rise and fall of his large head, I knew he understood me. He seemed very happy to have the connection with me. More than I could understand, I was happy to have him around, and I couldn't grasp why having my childhood imaginary friend, made real, made me feel so happy. It was hard to think that not a month beforehand, I'd not believed I was anything special, and I'd been looking forward to being, at best, a librarian.**_

"**Janine, possibly, you should give him a name now, hmm?" **_**Sariel asked in that all knowing tone that she tended to use, and I turned to her in slight shock once again. She'd been silent for quite some time, it seemed, but I'd merely been preoccupied by the giant dog before me. It was hard to be fearful of him anymore, as silly as it sounds, I was just no longer afraid for my life. He would never try to hurt me, which I just knew. Nodding to her, I turned back to look at him, and I tried not to think too much about how very annoying Sariel was being at that moment. I didn't remember her ever being this way before I'd made the dog real, but I didn't understand what reason she had for being rude to me then. Hadn't I done everything she'd asked of me? Shaking my head, I refocused on the dog, but I blushed when I noted the knowing look in his eyes. He knew what I was thinking, and he seemed to understand my problems more than I did. It was funny how just so understanding he seemed to be, but this only made it harder to think of the perfect name for him. Perfection could never be name, and I was almost sure that he was perfect. Though, no one could be completely perfect, so I just had to figure out something about him that wasn't quite perfect, something different. Given the circumstances of his situation, he would be my protector, if need be, and he was also mysterious to me. I didn't know if he had any powers of his own, though I could push that along, I guessed, but that didn't change that there was much I didn't know about him. A mystery, that's pretty much what he was to me.**_

"**I think I've got it! What do you think about the name Shax?" **_**I suggested in a timid manner within his mind, and I leaned on his nose slightly, to look closer at his eyes. Such a beautiful color of red was his eyes that it was hard to understand the fear I'd felt not an hour beforehand, but his size was still a huge factor to worry about. The fact of the matter was that he could've squashed me with one paw, and that was a very plausible fear for me to have had.**_

"**Shax, of Christian demonology and often portrayed as an evil creature, but quite understandably chosen. Shax? Shax is a satisfactory name, and I thank you for the effort at finding a suitable name, which that is. I am Shax," **_**he thought in enjoyment at his name, thought part of his words sounded like insults to me. At first I'd not been sure he liked it, but by the time he finished speaking, I knew he enjoyed it. He obviously thought that his name was something like my saying that he was powerful, which he was, but that hadn't been quite what I'd been thinking. It was obvious that he had a pride in the fact that I looked at him as powerful force, and I loved that I could make him feel good about himself with such little effort. For how rude I'd just been he deserved to be treated kindly, and I was willing be as gracious as I could to make him feel better. It was really the least I could do.**_

"**What's his name, then?" **_**Sariel asked once more in that pushy, all knowing way, and I just turned an annoyed look on her. It was unbecoming for a lady of her caliber to be acting in such a manner, even towards just me, and I didn't like it one bit. If what she told me was true before, then she should know all the lessons that were taught to me, but if not then that would explain her uncontrollable rudeness towards me along with her wild natures.**_

"**I do not know what your problem is right now with Shax, which is his name, or me but I do not appreciate it. If you have something to say against me, then do so, but if not and you merely wish to be rude then do not speak. I have no desire to hear you portray yourself in such an unbecoming manner," **_**I spoke harder than I'd meant to, but I was feeling harshly protective over Shax and myself I didn't want anyone else to treat me as my mother had, and she seemed to have it in her head that she would. No matter her reasoning, I wouldn't allow her to even try to control me. Glaring at her slightly, I turned my back on her, and I looked at Shax in silent uncertainty. I didn't understand what had happened to Sariel, but I hoped that Shax would help me or that Sariel would explain herself to me.**_

"**Do not take too harshly to her, Janine. She is merely jealous of your sudden affections towards me, and she sees me as a threat to your friendship…Though, I do not see her reasoning for that," **_**Shax spoke calmly, in a contemplating way, and I just turned sideways to look at Sariel to my right. She seemed so sad standing there looking down as if I'd just told her I hated her, but I could not comprehend her reasoning for her jealousy, as Shax said she was. I didn't know if she would tell me that she really was as such or not, and I didn't know if I wanted to know. I would ask regardless of the resulting actions or feelings.**_

"**Sariel, are you jealous of Shax? You don't know that you are just as important to me as he is?" **_**I questioned her quietly, but she merely jerked her tear filled eyes to look at me. It seemed to shock her that I would be able to see that, and I just continued to study her. She seemed to be debating something, but on the surface she only appeared to be confused and sad. Emotions had never been obvious to me before. I didn't expect any difference then, but it was strange how little I could see on her face and how much I could read easily in Shax's eyes. Such expressive red eyes Shax had, and I did wonder how that was possible. I didn't understand how I could read more into an animal than a human. It didn't make sense to me.**_

"**No, Janine, I do not think that you care about me any less than you always have, and I apologize for my behavior. I just do not like the idea that I could be replaced so easily by an oversized puppy," **_**she explained rather bluntly rude, but I let it slide for the time being. I did jump taking a step forward, away from Shax, as Shax let loose a rather predatorily snarl at Sariel, and I looked back at him in surprise before laying my hand on his nose in comfort. He needn't let others' words get to him in such a way, but I did slightly glare at Sariel once more. It wasn't necessary for her to say such a thing about Shax, and I knew it would bother both of them for some time that I would have to be equal to both of them.**_

"**I can understand your jealousy, we do have a connection now that you aren't a part of, but that doesn't give you right to insult him. He hasn't said a word about you in a rude manner since he came. Just please treat him as if he were either you or me, all right?" **_**I explained to her as calmly as I could, but I didn't like how this was turning out to be. I hated that Sariel seemed to have such a problem with Shax, and I despised how easily Shax could be angered by a few words. It was becoming so complicated. Sariel nodded in shame, but I just let my hand drop from Shax's nose, and I walked to her, hugging her close to me as she'd done to me as a child. There was little I could say to comfort her. I just wanted her to know that I cared for her just the same as always, and that she had nothing to fear of losing that feeling of caring from me. Nothing was certain anymore, but I knew that I would always care for those two and that we would, all three, escape from the dark world. Together we would get out, and we would see what kind of a world that I was really raised in. No more world of boring for me, I guessed.**_

"**You are not angry with me, are you?" **_**Sariel's soft voice reached my ears, shocking me from my thoughts. I looked down at her in silent wonder, but a soft smile spread across my face at how sweetly innocent she looked. It was much like a child who believed their mother hated them for disobeying them. All I could do was smile at her innocent manners, and I pulled my fingers softly through her long hair. I hadn't noted until that point that her hair was down, but I'd envision running my hand through her golden locks of free falling hair down her back in round curls. Suddenly as I ran them through her hair, she looked at me perkily. It was as if I'd just made her day, but I didn't quite follow what had happened just then.**_

"**What did I just do? Was your hair always as such?" **_**the question popped out in surprise as I stared in wonder at her lovely blond curls. Jumping slightly, I looked behind me at Shax as he whined out a laugh, but all I could do was look between the two of them in confusion. They both knew exactly was going on, and I was at an utter loss. It just wasn't fair to me, but I remained calm as I glanced uncertainly between the two of them.**_

"**Don't you see, Janine? When you are calm, your powers work with you, and we both enjoy the feel of your powers flowing through us. It is like the sweetest caress," **_**her explanation was far more confusing than my question, and I was left to nod dumbly. My mind whirled at the idea that others could feel my powers, but I just became worried that my mother or all those people on that bus had had a feeling of dread through them as I'd imagined it. It horrified me that I'd done all those things enough, but to think that they all received warning bells within them when I'd used my powers. Would it always be as such?**_

"**Janine, remain calm. Your powers are noticeable to us for the reason that we were made from them, but others can not feel a smidge of them. To normal people, your powers are as noted as a fly inside a cloud. Do not blame yourself for past mistakes, the best you can do is look to the present," **_**Shax's voice rang clearly in my mind as I began to really start freaking, and I turned a soft smile on him as well. The two of them were just so caring towards me, but all I seemed able to do was freak out at every turn. With a sigh, I pulled back from Sariel, seating myself in the middle of the floor once more, and I closed my eyes to think. Silence filled the air for only a few moments of my peace before a voice broke it.**_

"**What are you doing, Janine? Could I assist you?" **_**Sariel asked softly, but her voice surprisingly came from beside me. I looked at her with a slight frown, nodding slightly, and I turned to find Shax laying beside me slightly. Well, to be honest, his head was laying more behind me, but his eye was beside me. He was just looking at me.**_

"**We would assist you in any way we can, Janine. We wish for you to be free of this odd place as much as you do," **_**Shax whispered to me, but all I could do was nod. It wasn't that the two were bothering me or anything. No, I was just feeling very tired, weak almost, but for the most part I was afraid. I wasn't sure I could handle failing for the three of us. Plus, as I thought about sleep, the more tired I became, and I realized just how long it had been since I'd slept. Weeks had passed since I'd arrived to the world of darkness, but throughout all that time, I'd done nothing besides float in thought. How tired was I exactly?**_

"**I apologize, but I'm just tired. I've not slept the entire time I've been here, and I've just realized this. Would it be all right if I slept for a spell?" **_**I asked in my unconscious polite tone, but my response was a laugh from Sariel and Shax nudging me with his paw backwards. Leaning back, I yawned as I was now laying against his great stomach of fur, and I turned to face his paw in silent comfort. Timidly, there laid Sariel, but I just hugged her close without a word or smile. It was so obvious to me that she wanted to sleep as well, and I had no problem with her sleeping next to me. With a sigh, slept took me, it seemed, as soon as I closed my eyes. It was just so very warm upon my giant Shax and next to my little Sariel. A family of three for all time. For sure.**_

_**Thank you for reading. Review, or continue reading when the next installment is up.**_


End file.
